For A Pessimist .......Im Pretty Optimistic!

my brain is scattered once again....





but one theme/thought that is reoccuring and clear as day is GETTING THE FUCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!




im not even gonna talk about the hell I have been through this week all I am gonna say is that I have experienced the ultimate betrayal and words cannot express how maimed my heart is....





* a lil background*
MY FAMILY BLOWS /.......HARD!
(not everyone one individually..... but as a whole as far as relations go...and certain individuals)



*THE END OF BACKGROUND*







im not gonna go into details because I don't wanna get myself riled up again....
but idk how I got to this point.






the old me didn't give two fucks....about anything....her attitude....peoples feelings....her temper...how people perceived her nada....
so I was a bitch to everybody....but nobody fucked with me...


all I cared about was me....and what made me happy.....fuck everything/body else....







however because of my temper I decided to change ma ways.....not completely....just what I perceived to be negative points in ma personality.


now it seems like everybody is getting all swole and shitt....and its getting harder and harder for me to to bite ma tongue and just walk away......



and I realized that when I did this for what seemed to be the betterment of my person....but in all actuality...
I lost maself....


and it makes me sad.....
for the most part.




but I also realized that if this bothered me then all hope wasn't lost......



I know now that people aren't supposed to change....and never really do....instincts are still the same....so if if you aspire to change then you aspire to be a poser....
in my opinion people don't change period.....
im still a bitch...I just know how to control it....idkk I know this sounds cynical as hell....





but think about it.....
what makes you who you are when it comes down to it....


D.N.A




that shit is embedded in you....
you can change that shitt.
its in you genes...like im gonna change....



its not like you can rwach in your d.n.a and change that shitt....lol



idk I mean even me just reading that sounds sooo bad....but wtf you gonna do its me......


this aint over imma finish this tomorrow bruh...





peace homie.

<333333.